Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Writer's Blocked: Episode 3

“ I-I dunno if I’m comfortable doing that man.” Joe said fidgeting in his chair. Sweat stains were starting to form under his arms. “ Come on, you’ll be fine buddy! Its not that far of a drop and Craig will be out there with his truck so you’ll land safely in the bed. Noooothing to worry about.”
“Okay. But I better get some sort of achievement medal for this or something.”
“Again Joe, not a video-game.”
Grumbling to himself Joe starts to take off his shirt. “ We aren’t really going through with this plan are we?“  Alice says looking at me semi-worried “ Of course not. I just wanted to see if the idiot would actually do it!“ I whisper back. “You’re mean.“ She says. Alice jabs me in the side with her elbow and flashes me a disapproving but slightly amused look. “ Okay guys, lets go.” I say, and the group starts to make its way towards the elevator. “Hey Mike? We’re all going to The Blue Waffle! Meet us there man!” Yelled Vince. Vince was another writer and a close buddy of mine. He was a pop-culture genius. Vince knew everything about the world of comics, movies, music, the food network, the latest Beanie Babies( I didn’t even know they still made them.) and more; pretty much everything. He was also an amazing artist. We have all been trying to get him on the animation team but he never felt like his work was good enough. His cubicle was full of sketch books and all of the latest comic books. If anyone had missed going to Comic-Con that year all they needed to do was go over to Vince’s cubicle and they were caught up. “ Okay! Sweet! See you guys in a hot-flash!” Mike screamed from his desk. Everyone shook their heads as we piled into the elevator. We knew we weren’t going to The Blue Waffle like Vince had told Mike. We were going to the place where we always go on exceptionally stressful days like this: Chevys. Vince looks at me, raises his hand and offers a fist-bump as to say “ I got you man, no way was I going to let Mike Chandler cock-block you again.”  I return the fist bump and we both go back to staring straight ahead. The elevator jolts to a halt, and the doors glide open as we arrive on the ground floor. “AAAAHHHHHHHHHH” A loud scream comes from outside followed by a very loud CRASH! “ Crap!”  I think. “ I totally forgot to tell Joe the plan was just a joke! He’ll be fine; I hope.”
“What was that?” says Alice, worried again. “ Sounded like a bird hitting the window.” Vince replies quickly. “ Since when do birds scream?” Alice replies. “ Must be global warming, let’s go!” I chime in. Chevys is only a few blocks away which is convenient because no one has to drive back to work after slamming back tequila shots at happy hour.
    “ Hey guys! Your usual booth?” says the host as soon as we open the doors. “ You already know Jake!” Craig replies, obviously eager to get started with the drinks. As we file in to our booth near the back of the restaurant a shout comes from the entrance. “Thanks jerks!” Its Joe and he is covered in sweat and garbage. “What happened to you man?” Vince says trying to hold in his laughter. “Ew, you stink Joe.” Alice chimes in pinching her nose. “ Laugh it up guys, laugh it up. One day I’ll get all of you!” Joe proclaims tucking his plaid button up shirt back into his brown slacks. He plops down next to Craig and shouts to the waiter for a margarita and guacamole. At last the drinks and chips arrive and we all dive in. With a mouth full of guacamole and chips Joe practically yells, “ So Christian, when are you and Alice getting married?”
“What the hell Joe?” I glare at him and lasers shoot out from my eyes. His body glows bright red and his flesh starts to burn and in less than five seconds he is reduced to nothing but hot smelly ash. We all go back to eating and carrying on like nothing had even happened.   Ugh, I wish that actually happened.  Before I could reply to his ridiculous question another shout comes from the front of the restaurant. “ Bartender! A round of shots for that sexy table in the back! And a double for the extra sexy lady!” It was Mike. Everyone slumped down a little in their seats and froze. Hopefully, if Jurassic Park was accurate, if we didn’t move Mike couldn’t see us. No such luck, Mike made his way over to us with a huge sideways smile on his face.

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